*Dear fam, I am sincerely sorry for the delay in bringing this post to you on Tuesday, 28th of February, 2023. It was a struggle, but we’re standing above it. Thanks for understanding, and thanks for accepting this with love. Here’s me using this medium to also wish you a happy welcome to March 2023. It’s a blissful season for you and yours, and for our nation. You are loved!*
Finally, we have come to the end of February 2023! This is indeed a month to remember, and the love we profess has indeed been put to test by different circumstances. We have even had to express our love for our nation in the course of this month. However, amidst the waves and the heat of the moment, it is a miracle that we are still here and for that, we are grateful.
I sincerely hope you have been faring well despite the unpleasant situation we are currently in as a country. To be honest, a lot of people are quite tired and everyone is just trying to be strong for themselves and their loved ones. But this one thing we do, we allow nothing to rob us of our joy. We choose to hold on to our hope for a better Nigeria, and we keep praying for the positive change that we desire to see.
Let me quickly mention something at this point. If at any point you ever feel overwhelmed (because there is a tendency to), please do not hesitate to speak to someone that can raise your shoulders and lift your chin in encouragement. Do not choose to sit with the downtime, speak out and get the help that you need. You will be fine, for real.
Last week, we started a topic that will be rounded up today. The previous post revolved around Nigeria and the different phases we have faced. Remember, this phase is not going to last forever as well. However, we will be viewing this topic with a different lens today. Let’s get to the subject, shall we?
Right from our primary school days, we had begun to have an idea of the life cycle of different species, even before we got to higher grounds and stages of learning, and our knowledge became even more broadened. So, I believe talking about or painting the picture of the life cycle of a man won’t feel strange, because we have passed through and are still passing through the stages.
This is what I’m trying to say in essence. There is a life cycle for humans, one of which adulthood is a key part. Of course, every stage that we have passed through and will still experience is very important. To be factual, the early or previous stages have a part to play in the kind of person we are today, no matter how minute that feature is.
Hey, I’m sure you are aware that you didn’t just open your eyes to the world to see yourself as a grown man or woman. There was a time this grown you was formed and your life began in the womb. You kept growing and expanding in that space for 9 months before that space felt it could no longer cater to your needs and had to push you out into a bigger space; the world.
You opened your eyes to the world you now live in at childbirth; a beautiful, little human whose only jobs were to be fed, sleep, stay awake, cry, enjoy everyone’s attention, and repeat the work cycle. Later, your growth got fueled and you got to sit, crawl, stand with support, stand on your own, take a step forward, take more steps in walking, and finally, a fast-running toddler!
Alright, let me put myself in the narration because we all experienced it. As we grew, the awareness of our immediate environment began to set in. You get more familiar with your parents and/or siblings, depending on your position in the family.
With time, we became a member of a playgroup, whether informal or formal as in the school setting. It isn’t an unusual sight to see children cry as they got separated from their parents for the first time in their lives, but for a few hours. However, it doesn’t take so long to bond with the other children. Some don’t even cry, they just see toys and get carried away. They only remember there’s a Mummy or Daddy somewhere when they meet again at home.
There also came a time that school work got more defined and we even held our teacher’s opinion so dear to our hearts as opposed to whatever our parents had to say. You must have heard a child argue with the popular “No, my teacher said that…”. Eventually, we got introduced to assessments and examinations, even though we still didn’t have full knowledge of what they stood for.
I’ll break that down, remember those times you would go to school and still play even during so-called examinations? Despite that, you still had excellent grades and remarks written all over your report card, to the point of having a unit position and getting prizes at the end of the term. Well, that was just a phase in passing.
Sooner, the system got complex and we had to start forming a reading habit. Tests and examinations started to have a deeper meaning. Let’s press the fast-forward button to the end of what we call our primary education and the beginning of the secondary phase; when we got introduced to a completely new environment and had to get used to seeing new faces and making new friends.
As our innate nature, we soon found ourselves adapting to the new environment and learning process. That was just the beginning, as puberty crept in on us and we started becoming self-aware of the body changes we were noticing. Our peers were so important and their opinions mattered a lot. That marked the beginning of having a sense of belonging.
The above-mentioned are little compared to the incoming stage popularly called “years of rebellion”. We were finally out of secondary school and getting into “the bigger world” as usually described during valedictory services😁. Adolescence came with the feeling that we were grown enough to take care of ourselves even though our parents thought otherwise and wanted to get even more involved in our lives.
Our sense of responsibility started to widen, with our value systems, ideologies, and beliefs getting more defined. We wanted to be in charge of our decisions without anyone stepping in the way, and many times, we would end up making some errors, after which we would have to retrace our steps and go in the direction we had initially criticised or abandoned.
Then comes the adulthood stage, when independence finally gains ground. We become absolutely responsible for ourselves and the decisions we make. Unlike the previous years when many decisions were made on your behalf, you get to make your choice at this point; choices cutting across different aspects of your life. Also, friendships and relationships to us take on a whole new meaning.
What’s the point I’ve been trying to drive home? This adulthood phase you are currently in is a blessing. I know it does get overwhelming sometimes and we feel like we have been sold a lie. This brings us to the popular statement, “adulthood na scam”. Take a moment to flashback to when you used to crave growing up to become independent, and now you see children running around and enjoying their worry-free lives, and you envy them for a moment.
No matter how much you envy those children, dear one, you have once enjoyed that stage and there’s no going back there. The only choice you have is to embrace the stage you are currently in and be determined to get the best out of it. To thrive in these years, the following few points come in handy.
Retain God in your knowledge, always. You see, there is no living right without Him. When you have questions or issues bothering your mind, you have Him to turn to. When the road seems rough, He is right there. He has the manual for your smooth ride. Remember, He formed you and He has been in the boat since your day one. You can’t just get to a point and then feel like you have outgrown Him. Guy, for where?🥺😳
Seek, embrace, and maintain healthy relationships and friendships. Friendship is a beautiful gift and we have come to develop that bond with people over the years, right from the days of a toddler. Some friendships last well into the adulthood years, while some bonds get stretched and broken sometimes due to the different values and ideologies we have developed over time, or just life happening as we say.
For either instance, we must always maintain a healthy mindset as we cheer them on, even if it’s from afar. Be genuinely happy to see the progress they are making and most importantly, care enough to say a word of prayer when their image or name crosses your mind. That is a powerful way to express love. A thoughtful check is also a nice thing to do if you can. Remember, you once had a bond and some beautiful memories were birthed. What’s more, your identity is love!
The other side of the coin is that we get to meet new personalities and form new bonds as our journey progresses. Ensure that these are people of like-minds, people with whom you can achieve your all-round goals as you progress together, people who are your own humans no matter the season of life you are in, people who are there for you and you are there for them.
You are not called to do life alone, you need Aaron and Hur to lift your weak hands, Jethro to give you wise counsel, Joshua to fight on your behalf, and the Israelites to follow as you lead them under God. Always have it at the back of your mind to be a source of blessing even as you are being blessed. Don’t just receive, give! Let me give you a motto; the energy must go both ways!
Make wise decisions in your present with an image of your future before you. You are not making your choices for now, they are for minutes, hours, days, months, and years to come. They are not just for you, they are for generations yet unborn. Don’t be short-sighted as you make these choices, see into your future.
Forgive yourself for the things that didn’t go so well in the past. Be consoled and be grateful that there is room for improvement, and that is the best room that exists. If there is a way to correct the mistakes, it’s all good. If not, pick the lessons and run with them.
Let go of the disappointments. You can’t keep holding on to it, wishing you had done better. Don’t sit with it as though you have come to your end. The better you want to do lies in your present and the coming future. Understand that disappointments are also a part of the process. Pick yourself again and get moving, there’s a better chance in the next!
I mentioned this before, but I’ll mention it again. This phase you are in is not permanent either. Very soon, a generation is coming after you that will look at your life and ask questions. Their questions will be triggered by two things; your success or your failure. It is beautiful when you have happy answers to give and tears of joy form in your eyes, rather than heaving deep sighs of regret and not being able to say a word because you are too ashamed to even let your face be seen.
Asides from the coming generation, you need to have a personal sense of fulfilment in your lifetime. In the next 5, 10, 20, 50 years or more, you want to look back, assess your life and be grateful for the years you’ve lived, and not the other way round. It all starts with making wise decisions with God at the centre of it all, and that is the wisest of all your decisions.
This was indeed a long write, but I definitely enjoyed it! I hope you have the same to say after reading, and my sight awaits your feedback and comments. Remember to stay safe, and keep praying for Nigeria. Love ya!
