THE RIGHT RESPONSE

Hello again, dear reader!✌️ How’s the third Tuesday in March going? I don’t know if the same applies to you, but these past days have been quite calm at my end. Whatever the case may be, please ensure that your joy is protected and your peace is preserved.

I have to sound my note of appreciation for how you interacted with the last post, which was “FILLING THE BAG 2”. In case you haven’t read it yet, it’s definitely a post you don’t want to miss out on! But then, how do you get seated with part 2 of a thing without checking out (1)? That being said, I recommend that you start with “FILLING THE BAG”, and you eventually take up the challenge of filling your bag of exploits. Trust me, you’re going to do just great!

Have you ever been in an argument or a disagreement with someone, and it got so intense that you just had to walk away for a moment in order not to lose your cool even though you were so annoyed? And then, when you were probably recounting the experience to a friend, you were venting out all the pent-up anger and wishing you had said some things in response. If this describes you, then I guess we’ve been in the same boat at one time or the other. If this has never been you or you can’t relate to the scenario, wow, I envy you!

However, if we are going to be honest with ourselves, we must have passed through this stage before. But here’s what I want to bring out of the scenario; you made a choice at that moment, and the choice you made was that of peace and not going all out for war. It was that choice that prompted you to speak to your legs and walk out of the room before you made comments you would not be proud of.

Every single day, we are presented with different situations and experiences, some of which seem uncontrollable and strongly test the virtues in us. The essence of this post is to tell you that we can control the responses we give to such situations and handle them in such a way that gives our Father a ‘Proud-Dad’ moment.

There’s a popular proverb that we refer to when it comes to the issue of choices, which goes thus; “you can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from building a nest in your hair”. I think this goes far to tell us that our responses to situations can be regulated and controlled, no matter how overwhelming they may be.

If we were to leave every response we give to how we feel at all times or in the heat of the moment, it goes without saying that we would have been in deep trouble by now. Then, we would realize that we had done some things that were never meant to be, said things that should never have been out in the open, and the like. What do you think would have been the result of the above?

If your response is the same as mine, it would be something like having a chaotic life full of regrets, unproductivity, lack of discipline, and destroyed relationships, among many other things we would not like to even think about. Right, that’s the reason we will always have to choose the right response, no matter the situation!

All that we do stems from choices, and if they do, then we need to start paying close attention to those choices. We can choose to love and be committed to people, we can choose to be positive and joyful even when things seem not to be playing out as we want, and we can choose to be patient even when we’re relating with people who seem not to make it easy. The right response to different situations is a choice!

Here’s another thing I have discovered! Of course, we would love to be that person who has the soft-toned, gentle, positive, or optimistic disposition at all times, but somehow we find ourselves slipping into the space we don’t want to be. How do we come out of that space, and how do we work and walk towards better responses going forward? Let’s discuss that in the following paragraphs.

I believe it begins with remembering Whose own you are. You have to always retain in your consciousness the traits that are consistent with the nature that you have received, courtesy of being born anew to the Father above. In those instances when you are tempted to respond based on how you feel, allow His still, small voice that keeps calling out to your spirit to inspire you to yield and respond in a way that brings Him glory. Remember, you are God’s!

Likewise, you have to remember who you are and who you have been called to be. Because you know Who has birthed you, and you have drawn the right traits from Him, you can function properly and respond correctly. Therefore, when the situation seems to nag at your belief systems, you have to keep calling yourself by the wonderful names you have been called when you received the new life.

Rather than accepting the low profile that is being whispered into your mind, the voice that causes you to identify with the old nature, choose your new and true identity over the false, old one. Keep calling out to those core values that you are building until you see them fully formed in you.

Here’s another thing to note; Response is not just in what you say out loud, it is first in what you think within and then the actions that follow. Therefore, check out the situation and determine/discern the right response that should follow. When it comes to the battles of the mind or negative thoughts whispering, it is recommended that you shun those thoughts and speak out loud while you do that.

However, you do not always have to respond by reacting in words, especially in the case of outright confrontations. It is wise in those moments that you follow other honourable means. For instance, in choosing to stay silent or walk some miles away rather than lashing out at the person or the situation just the way they are doing to you, you have picked the right response.

Note that choosing the right response in terms of silence or keeping a distance at that time does not mean you are giving the person the licence to keep doing things that are not right, or that you are not bold enough to settle issues. No, it’s not! Instead, it means you are first protecting yourself from stepping into a territory that does not conform to your identity while seeking out better options for getting the issue resolved.

A better option could be speaking to the other party later when they are calm or more sober state, and that’s a period when you can most likely have a dialogue or a reasonable conversation without emotions clouding each other’s judgements. Before resuming the conversation, there might have been a period of sober reflection for both of you, especially if you both have similar values that uphold conflict resolution and progress. Then, you can put out your thoughts honestly without mincing words, while still being careful with your words.

However, what do you think would happen if you stayed right back, allowed yourself to lose your cool, and then gave them a piece of your mind on different shades? Well, you might feel like you said your bit, and you might even feel good for a short while, but I can guarantee that you might start feeling sorry afterwards and wish you never said any of those things, especially if your belief system aligns with being courteous and seeking peace. Don’t allow yourself to get to that point of regret, make the right choice from the get-go by taking a step back to think before you speak.

This leads me to the next point; let love guide your words, thoughts, actions, and overall responses. When love is at the centre of all you do, you can think through your actions and make sure it does not bring harm to the other person. Also, remember, love does not seek revenge! Even if they were mean, you don’t have to match that same negative energy.

You have to avoid the nagging temptation or desire to prove a negative point with your words and actions. During this period when arguments are intense, the temptation to say certain things just to prove that you are not a weakling becomes even stronger. If at all you are trying to prove a point, let that point be in the honourable choices you make, such as making peace, choices which truly mark you as belonging to the Kingdom you profess and identify with.

At times, the right response is marked by speaking to someone who can listen to you speak out all that’s on your mind, console you, and at the same time tell you what you might have done wrong. When your view might be biased because of how you feel, you need that unbiased point of view that can spell out what’s right and what’s wrong. While we have friends who can correct us with love, the Holy Spirit is the person who fits this description the most. He will always do a perfect job of helping us work on our emotions and responses or reactions.

Here’s the last point for today; extend grace to yourself, especially during those periods when you feel like the response you gave does not match your identity. Yes, you made the mistake! However, I am glad that you found a Voice to convict you of that wrongdoing. Lean on His help going forward, decide to always seek peace, and take it a step further by going ahead to right your wrongs by apologizing to the person you might have hurt.

I’ll conclude this way; our choices matter a lot in shaping who we are. Therefore, we must learn to bring forth the right responses, first to identify ourselves as belonging to the Father above and then to shine as good examples of His kingdom here on earth. Therefore, let Philippians 4:8 be your thought and response.

It was wonderful writing this to you, and I hope you had a great time reading as well. Don’t forget to share what you learnt with me in the comments, and also share the link with a friend who might need this. Also, look forward to the review next week! Till then, keep responding rightly to all situations!📌